Tuesday, October 9

Dating Someone From Workplace

As I head to work this morning, I listened to a topic of discussion that I find interesting - would you date your colleague/ anyone from same workplace?

Would I?

I have never experienced it myself, but logically dating someone from work feels kinda awkward. For me, personally, being a woman, I prefer someone superior, mature, helpful, and with authoritative power. Hence, a person with such criteria would only be higher rank than me. Which most likely be, superior or boss. And since I'm not interested in married or attached men, chances of the "mutual feeling" to develop is NONE. Hah!

Currently I am watching a TVB Hong Kong drama, called L'escargot. In this drama, Jim (Michael Tse), a married boss, silently pursues Ka Lok (Linda Chung). Jim loves his wife, Man Wah (Joyce Tang) but at the same time couldn't control his feelings towards Ka Lok. Man Wah is every men's dream wife - pretty, smart and help Jim during his business conflicts while Ka Lok is naive, honest and simple-minded. And as time pass, Ka Lok eventually develop a mutual feeling, and conflict arises. The whole scenario seems so surreal. Human, men and women alike, have feelings. Being married/attached and staying loyal is one thing, and feeling attracted to someone else is another. Feeling attracted to someone else doesn't mean that he/she love his/her wife/husband less. It is just, uncontrollable, I guess.

Previously I have encountered a girl in her 20s that seem to have a relationship with her superior who is in his 40s and married. My observation of them was filled with disgust. Imagine sharing a plate of rice with your boss, as in two people with one plate. They could have requested for extra plate but they didn't. Imagine you sitting in the back seat and your boss puts his hands on your colleague thighs and rub? She could have pull back, but she didn't. There's alot of disgusting scenes (eg: putting head on shoulder, touching hair) which I do not want to further describe.

I do not oppose in-office relationship or in-office extramarital affairs, as long as, the guy is not my father, husband or boyfriend. But anyway, couples that work together have to maintain professionalism, ethics and be neutral. It is not easy because I have experience an office full with favoritism, bias and disgusting sights. (oh God, what a nightmare!)

The same goes to dating your subordinate. The challenge is there, because no matter how professional you are, there will be gossips and gossips can destroy the team spirit. This only applies if both persons are working in the same team, reporting to the same superior and in the same department.If both individuals are of the same company, but different job scopes, departments and teams, then conflict of interest can be avoided and there should be less problems.

Otherwise, one of them should make a sacrifice.

Deepest Love,
Blogged from my Phone


Angel Ng said...

I experienced it personally. I met my now-husband when we were working together. I guess not many people have outside life other than work especially if your work requires a lot of your time. When we first met, there was not *sparks*. Its only as time goes by, he started falling in love with me and he strengthen his pursue when he got to the same level as me. I joined the company and got promoted first. He trailed a month later. It has been more than 5 years since then and I am really thankful I met him.

Honestly, it was quite fun working with my-then-boyfriend. I still recall he developed an automated reporting tool just cause I complained its a hassle. And I admire the way he work, type and concentrate. He never ever skips work even when he got an MC. Crazy fella!

Guess thats how I fell in love with him in the first place. :)

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

Dear Angel,
Your story is indeed an eye-opener o me. Thanks for sharing them. In office, im surrounded by married men so my encounter with workplace relationships are usually extramarital affairs. Hence perhaps i have been prejudiced towards in-office relationships. I am wondering, how do you both handle gossips/reaction from other colleagues?

Shopaholic said...

90% of my male colleagues are unmarried but I still insist on not starting a relationship with colleagues, same department or not. It might be fine at first, when everything is smooth sailing, but what if it doesn't work and we break up? And we still have to see each other everyday. =/

On a different note, I would feel awkward too if my friends start to show too much affection for each other in front of me. --_____________--lll

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

ya i have the same thinking that is what happens if the relationship doesnt work out? We still need to face each other and work together. At that time, conflict of interest will definitely arise. =)

YES! I sometimes feel annoyed that some couples being too affectionate in front of me too! It's like we dont exist in their eyes, only have the both of them. GOSH~