Tuesday, October 2

Breaking Up- Is It That Easy? or Is It That Excruciating?

I have been wanting to talk about this issue but had never been able to figure out what actually I feel about it. Somehow as I grew older, and ahem, wiser, my vision has also been wider. If it were in those days, every news of breaking up I heard, I would ask "why?" but now, "why?" "what?" "how?" and "when" are questions I try to resisst from asking, as I find it really insensitive.

Breaking up, in general is a milder version of divorce.Milder, because you don't have an official paper that is written black and white. And both the couple didn't took an oath to truly love, care, and nurture each other their whole life.  It is in a sense that a couple decided that they cannot go on to be together, hence decided to part ways. Parting can be "let us still be friends mode" or "from henceforth I declare you my mortal enemy". But of course it is not as easy as it sounds. Breaking up means parting from the person you love, or once loved. And being together for a period of time, you had never been alone. So, breaking up moment is so very crucial in gaining back your individual self and throughout the process there's this factor called "miss" and/or "regret" which makes things cloudier.

I have fell in love twice, broke up twice and reconciled once. And i find it a very tedious process in a relationship. When I see people surrounding me that supposed to be married, instead, broke up. I couldn't help myself but gasp aloud. But what even shock me further when situation arise as follows:-

A) the breakup victim isolate himself/herself, cannot move on, with suicidal thoughts or action; or

B) "hi everyone, meet my new gf/bf called Honey"

Both situation cause me to be awkward! In the first scenario, yes, suicidal and depression is a norm after breakup. But, don't ever let this negative thoughts conquer you. Do you think your death will ever make any difference? Do you think she/he will come back to you after you died? Do you think she will die for you to join you in the underworld?

Think again.

On another hand, as in scenario B, just as the news of break up just reached your ears and you saw him/her holding another girl/guy. What will be your reaction? What would you do? Approach the new couple or act like you didn't see? It happened to me and I totally failed in acting, I wanted to act sporting, and display those expression of "new gf only mah", instead I nod my head like so many times and my eye opened so wide as though in terror. You see, please forgive my rudeness haha. Personally, I kind of felt that it is disrespectful for either partner if any one of them moved on too fast, say like a couple of weeks time. For me, it takes time to fall in love, and it takes even more time to fall out of love.

Does it take forever to forget someone you once loved?

Or does it only takes a couple of weeks?

I guess both you and I have no answer for this question. All is left in the hands of Master Fate.

What is your take on breakups and moving on?

Deepest Love,
Blogged from my Phone


atreyustrange said...

Trust me darling, how fast they move on depends on how bad the break-up was. Sometimes they move on fast out of anger, or revenge, or they don't care about all these relationships and supposedly loving-bonds between couple. Hence, the "new gf ONLY mah"

You know where this is coming from. :)

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

Hi strange, lol
U have a point. And that is what I cannot accept. even if our pet (animal) dies or gone missing, it would take quite some time to move on, to accept that what is gone is beyond repair. What more a human being, right?

Anyway on the bright side, that shows he/she never really loved you anyway so you'd be fine without such person.

Jessying said...

Go holiday, go far far away.. or just go home if no money. There is where love is, where you feel love and not lonely :)

Camy said...

agree with you. and i'm stuck although after breaking up for more than a year. totally lost and dont know what to do

Shopaholic said...

I think how fast you move on depends on how ppl brokeup and who they meet after that. I dun think people should get a bf/gf too soon after breaking up coz the new relationship might just be a rebound one...

But then, someone really awesome might turn up and you'll feel that if you miss out on this person, you'll regret for a very long time.
It depends on how the new person makes you feel in the end I guess.

Those suicidal ones are both scary and kesian actually. =(

Merryn said...

It's been so long since my zaman bercinta I cant even remember what it was like.. but one think I remember is that I had lots of friends to turn to when I was down and my family members were very supportive too..

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

@Jessying, Yea, i agree with your suggestions. If you think that you can handle it individually, then you can opt to go somewhere peaceful and think properly on your future plannings and also to move on. A long break/holiday will do. But not everybody has the courage to be solo again. For me, I would feel very insecure going anywhere far alone, because used to the companionship that i had for a long time.

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

@Camy, U dont have to totally forget everything about him. Just channel all the good memories and make it your strength. and go out more often to meet new people. it will boost your confidence, and a confident girl is most attractive!

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

@J_fish, yah suicidal ones are those who really need help. But when we encounter those people, we just dont know how to help!

MsXeRoZ Nicole said...

@Merryn jie, i didnt know got people ever break ur heart, I thought you break people's heart one? hehehe..