Thursday, June 14

Going Crazy!

with boredom...

FYI, working alone is pretty much boring, but yet, i'm enjoying it. I can plan my work and finish it up.. The fact that previously i can eat up some time preparing blog materials but my boss found out that i typed too much and perhaps spent the entire time in office blogging (which is not true) and thus crushed my little hope of transfering my soul out of this office into my virtual world.

So, i had to find another alternatives...i blog at night... I try to Facebook less too.

So, everyday i would read news....celebrity news....drama plans and on movies.....


and again..

and again... until i really felt like wanna cut my wrist!

So, i read some blogs..Whose blog is most interesting, and one that is long enough, inspiring enough, not filled with advertorials and stuff..

And i started off with XiaXue's blog from 2005 onwards. Well, the more i read about her, the more inspired i am. She truly write her heart out on some issues that matters to her. She fears no criticism. So what if she's a bimbo/fake/blonde-pinkish-lavender hair girl?
For me, appearance doesn't really matter that much. Her writings are all filled with essence, something that i think my blog is lacking.

Nowadays, blogs are used to earn some pocket money. In between that, i think i have lost the true passion of blogging. I used to write about family, holiday, dreams, my angers and stuff until...

"people say, don't write so much online. dangerous. offensive" 

Sigh! All i can say is at that moment, i felt like there's a government monitoring my actions in my blog. Felt like i'm gagged up and only allowed to write good stuff about people and things that happened.

Nonetheless, Tianchad told me about positive thinking, and law of attraction. I kinda believed what he said, rather than keep focusing on critising people and ranting my anger out, why not i focus on the good things and inspire others? Be positive, and good things will come.

As i had previously blogged about, it has been 7 years of courtship and this year there's no celebration. I was so exhausted from the Kapas Island trip, and craving for a simple mihun soup. So on that night, we had home cooked mihun soup and supper, nothing else. I was expecting a gift, but couldnt blame him coz me myself had not prepared any gifts for him. *greedy* But i thought that this is a pre-historic truth that GUYS give girls GIFTS! *disappointed*

No more celebrations coming up so i guess i dont have any gifts frm him in 2012 (Looking forward to Christmas then but slim chance). Yeah, he only give me gifts during special dates... Well, this is the disadvantage of simple bf requirement. When my friends demanded gifts frm bf, i would ask them dont be so materialistic, bf not rich and so on. Now that I didnt demand, i get nothing. *slap ownself* I miss those surprises that he gave me half a decade ago - Eg: Kuma Slippers, cant remember and cant remember *LOL* but it feels "wanted" when you are given surprises. Well, sometimes i think he owe me positive surprises because since he started working in a steel mill, the surprises that i had was:
1) A massive fire broke in plant.
2) A cable fell and slashed his chin and requires 7 stiches.
3) My colleague died of heart attack
4) I have to work 36hrs.
5) Why didnt u pick up your phone! If i died how to contact u??

OMG. enough said... I dont want those kind of surprises. For Hire> Electrical Engineer. Please take him. In exchange, i will write up a blogpost on your kindness.

 *controlling emotions*

So stay positive *positive thinking*
I have decided to lose weight. Currently I'm 158cm and 53kg heavy. I think it's time to exercise and take healthier food. My target is to be 48kg (which i think is fairly reasonable) and I want my waist to return back to 24-26 inches. I have rather ballooned wider than taller lately. Basically, I'd do some walking, hula hoop, skipping rope and swimming. Rachel Koko said will teach me yoga today. I was kinda reluctant but it's impolite to turn down a good friend. I asked her to teach me pilates (initially i tot its pirates), because I've seen how Miley Cyrus slimmed down tremendously from pilates. I dislike Miley, and when she's slimmer than me, and got engaged with one of Earth's hottest guy, i got so jealous that i'm just gonna learn pilates. So let's see how it goes.

 My 'otot cerut' is yelling at me now. i gtg pee..

See ya later!

MsXeRoZ Mumbles...

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